Singing Snowberg

Chapter Seven

Lost Language <8>

When the water becomes peaceful again Salix speaks, “are you okay?” “Yeah I think so but... had this really happened?” “Yeah it happened last weekend. I didn’t see what you saw, but now I do.” He raises his arms from my back, “I think it’s over for that day.” He tears apart the snowberg effortlessly.

The sunshine is blinding my eyes. The smell of lavender and the sound of waves are taking me back to this summer. And a woman speaking, “you fell asleep, what did you see in the dreams?” It’s her! Devo’s grandma.
“Shall I keep talking? Okay... we just talked about Devo.... He couldn’t grow up as a man. You can’t save him.” “Then why did he sending me here?”
“He wanted you to see in case to live into your place. And he didn’t want to be saved like that.” “Why?”
“Death isn’t simple.” “Does everyone here think like him?”
”No, I told him.” I want to know the answer, There’re so many in this world.
Don’t know if she gets my heart sound she answers, “the answers, some are important, some aren’t. There’s no need to find answers that aren’t important; but for those important ones, just wait and they’ll come to you.” “Is ‘walk and see’ you told him?”
”Yes, he didn’t have his own judgment before. I told him to ‘wait and see’. He changed it, maybe that’s why he ventured that far to see this world, so he was no longer a soulless boy. Souls create things.” “No, I don’t believe in souls.”
”Then what do you have inside?” “I have dreams, from other people, sometimes they control how I remember things; from other places I’ve never been. And the things I’ve never experienced. I’m not sure whether they happened before, a total different world.”
”You should learn from them, they’re treasures. That’s the soul I talked about.” “The things happened in the past?”
“Everything happened, happening, and the future.” “Then what should I think about him?”
”To remember him wherever you are, if you loved him, engrave him into your soul, take him wherever you go even though it means to carry the pain. Take it easy with the trip, stay with nature, ‘wait and see’ making that world a better place.” She points to the sky, “look, a butterfly.” Her gaze follows the butterfly and catches the figure of Salix, “what about him?” “He’s my lover, Salix.”
”Beautiful, no?” I think she meant Salix. I don’t know, he likes sunshine, in my recovering memory. Now he’s gazing at the towers, they’re so high, covered with green glasses, shining blazingly. He’s like one of those towers standing still, then suddenly turns to look at me, smiling casually as usual. But now that smile looks different for me, more comprehensive, shining understanding, without fear and sorrow.
“I meant love, love between you is beautiful, I could see. You care about each other, that’s very precious. Devo doesn’t have to grow up, but I just expect someone could save him, I wish he could have a beautiful thing. He wasn’t so lucky.... There was a girl lived nearby, they had a good time together. Like every summer has to end, they were separated. The beauty was destroyed before it evolved into a perceivable form.” “How were they separated?”
“She went back to her hometown, never returned. Disappeared like a phantom. He was too young to take it, he just wanted her, nobody else. He met a dead end.” She inhales deeply and says again, “to love is not to look at each other, but to overlook at the same direction.” She goes on after a slight pause, “and when the direction is no longer perceivable, he got lost. I wish him letting go. And I wish you enjoy the trip.”
“No. No I can’t let him down, he has to survive to live on.” “You don’t understand, last time he was ill, I gave him placebo, no such magical herb exists.”
“At least I’ll try, to get him out of his pain.” “Pain is not simple, just like death. If you don’t believe me just try it with him, it won’t work, by that time you’ll get more miserable.” And now I know she’s right, I remember everything now, and finally realised to do everything, however, equals doing nothing. Things have to die at certain points.
“Qui-co-lay qui-co-lay ya-lo-ik ya-lo-ik....” “You’re expressing in a wrong way. It means ‘I love you’ when you speak with eyes looking into the opposite’s, you didn’t watched at anyone’s eyes, it means ‘I hate you’.”
Of course I know, speak with head into his chest means “I only love your body”, with a hug means “I love you and your soul” and so many.

Singing Snowberg (雪山在唱歌)为《蓝》系列的第二卷，首发为英文。第一卷为《外婆的玫瑰》。为本人原创作品，版权©所有。