Last Saturday, I attended a wedding. Despite the fabulous setting, lots of dogfood and touching moment, I got the wedding flower again. Yes. Again I got the wedding flowers twice in two weddings for the last 40 days.Many friends came and congratulated to me and blessed me a happy marriage in the near future.
So I started to think what is a happy marriage? Is it the marriage that I should pursue for my life?
Recently , there’s a quite popular tv series you might haven’t watched, but you must have heard about it. Yes. Nothing but 30s- about three young ladies in their 30s, unmarried, married without child and married with one child. All of them work and fight really hard for a happy intimate relationship or marriage. While none of them get a happy ending to me.
So what is a happy marriage? Is it the marriage that the old usual say- Properly matched marriage?
When talking about marriage, our tradition used to use the words Properly matched marriage to describe a good marriage. 门当户对的婚姻 which refers to similar family background, similar education background, and similar financial status. While is it really enough? To find the answer, I joined another activity.
A reading and dating activity last for one month. We had 28 boys and 28 girls in this activity. And we were divided into 8 groups, 4 groups of girls and 4 groups of boys. Every week , we had the chance to talk and share the chapters online and offline with another group.We switched every one week. So if you take fully participate in , you can meet and talk at least 28 boys. While for the first two weeks, I was a little disappointed, because I found that none of them got the good speaking skills like Steven, like Ethan , like Rocky. So I told my friend who introduced me this activity, I found myself like person who can speak professionally. And she laughed and said, it is different living in real life.
Is it different living in real life? I didn’t quite get it and then move on. Then I met another friend who got married last week. We had some business issues to talk about and we shared our life. When I told him about this reading and dating activity. He asked me, what kind of marriage do you want to have? And what kind of husband do you want to find? I said, well, I had a clear vision for my life and work, so I would love to find someone shared the same vision with me. And he relied, it seems that you are looking for a business partner instead of a husband.
Business partner and husband?
His words shocked me but also enlightened me. When I was judging that they are not speaking professional like Steven or Ethan . What am I looking for? Am I looking for a professionally public speaker like in those DTMs toastmasters for my marriage? Or am I looking for someone who can share the happiness and sorrow with me for the rest of my life?
So I continued to join the reading and dating activity.Instead of looking at people who speak not very professionally, I found a group of people who were seriously preparing themselves before marriage.
I started to enjoy that different people have different views about the book and different people have different llife stories to share. While there’s one thing in common , that is their attitude preparing themselves for marriage. Getting to know yourself clearer, getting to know your attitude towards marriage clearer, getting to know what you really want in a marriage. And getting to know the meaning of marriage.
So what is a properly matched marriage?It is not only about the same finance status or the same family background. It’s more about the common attitudes towards marriage, it’s more about the lifelong intention of marriage between you two.
Dear fellow toastmasters and distinguished guests, do you have a happy marriage? Do you want to have a properly matched marriage? How will you get there?
Thank you.
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