I am going to lose my virginity, tonight.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months, which, by everyone’s standard, should be long enough to take our relationship to the “next level”. So, I tell him I’ll give him the honor of popping my cherry. I’ve got all the logistics figured out, like the time, the place and essential items we’ll need. I, no, we are more than ready.
The whole house will be ours before mom and dad come back from the annual fundraising gala this evening, which usually lasts till 11PM. We’ll use protection of course. My mom keeps this box of condoms in the medicine cabinet, new and sealed. Putting them in an easily accessible place is her subtle way of telling me to be safe, and that she’ll know when I “break the seal”, so to speak (insert eye roll here). But if it so happens, she will be okay with it too. Don’t ask me why. Let’s just say we understand each other on a cellular level. She might even agree with me that there’s no better way to celebrate my birthday than losing my virginity.
Talking about birthday celebration, mom sent me an email earlier with a link. The email body read like this:
“After 4/7, you will be an adult that can legally do a lot of things I disapprove. But as you know, I am a cool mom, so I made you this gift when you were in 3rd grade for your eighteenth birthday. It cannot save you from dangerous situations you put yourself into, like having unprotected sex, doing drugs, overdrinking etc, etc. But I hope it will help you remember that nobody can watch out for you 24/7, except yourself.
“I’ve done my fair share of stupid things before my eighteenth birthday. I know I can’t blame this on the fact that my mother died of postpartum depression when I was a baby, but I really wish she’d been there for me, to tell me that it’s not the end of the world or my world if I mess up. I hope this gift can also remind you that nothing breaks my heart more than seeing you get hurt, so please don’t ever do that to me.
“Lastly, prepare yourself before clicking the link. Enjoy.”
“p.s. Tell me if you like it, and keep it to yourself if you don’t.”
I can’t help sniggering at the last line. That is purely mom. But the postpartum depression thing is kind of a shock, because she rarely talks about my grandma. I am always curious about her, and now the link too. There’s no telling where the link will take me. Mom can be a little quirky sometimes. I wonder if that trait comes from this grandma that I never get to know. That can explain my infamous quirkiness though, haha.
Anyways, I still need to get some chocolate scented candles and make a romantic playlist for tonight. All the songs are in Chinese. Yup, I don’t understand a word in these songs, but for some unfathomable reason, each note touches my heart and reaches down to the marrow of my bones.
Tonight is going to be awesome. It would hurt, so I was told, but unforgettably amazing.
Or is it?
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