Till death do us part
直到死亡将我们分开——TEDTALKS Jeannie Gersen
You should marry your second husband first.
What did that mean?
If you want to understand what make a marriage work, you should think about how a marriage ends.
The tacit rules of marriage
Sometimes the things we do out of love can be the very things that make it harder for that love to last.
Everyone should have these painful conversations.
These are painful conversations about what we contributed, what we owe, what we are willing to give, and what we give up. And also what is important to us.
If you have them early on, they can actually help build a better marriage.
Sacrifice should be thought of as a fair exchange.There’s no such thing as free childcare.What’s yours probably becomes ours.
“How exactly does fair exchange work in your decision? What does it look like in your marriage? What are you willing to give and what are you willing to we?”
“what do your choice about childcare do to the obligations you have to each other? How do they affect your relationship.”
What do you want to keep separate and what do you what to keep together? And how does that choice actually support the security of the marriage.
How is a marriage s sacrifice but a exchange of sacrifice?
How so we think about childcare and deal with the fact that there is no such thing as free childcare
How do we deal with the fact that some things can be separate, some things can be together and we don’t think about it. It will all be part of the joint enterprise.
综上得出一些可借鉴的观点：
1. 相处时需要能够平等地相互谈论某件事的选择。
2. 选择地决定时要充分考虑到双方可能地得失，需要当面提出。
3. 选择后，要接受选择带来地可能地得失。
4. 不要让选择成为自己的自我牺牲，没人会感激，这只会让自己不舒服，并且对方也不会认同你的自我牺牲。
5. 学会管理自己的财产。双方既要有个人财产保护意识，也要有家庭财产意识。毕竟共同财产的分割，是衡量离婚代价的，可以说，唯一标准。（不论小孩的话）
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